wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize