well most of my day revolves around power hour
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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