friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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