suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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