so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
