i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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