me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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