Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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