PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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