I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
