You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
