And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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