Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
