Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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