Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
