What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
