AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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