so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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