I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
