why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
my poor anus
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
