I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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