the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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