you guys were way drunker than both of me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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