if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
