The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
