his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When are your genitals available?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Pants are for mortals
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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