Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
