You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
