Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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