Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
