Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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