Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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