so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize