I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
