and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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