I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
