Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
