he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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