Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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