Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
