she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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