Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
