But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize