I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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