I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
