is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
