just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
