they need to just BURY HIM!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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