I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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