i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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