My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she looked like the before picture.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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