I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can't turn off my feet"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
