It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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