gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
