Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
