I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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