I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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