she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy sore nipples Batman
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
