protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize