We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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