the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize