IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
