does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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