erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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