I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
