Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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